My College Librarian ...

I was in a hurry to catch my office cab ... I rushed to the ground floor past the gate, to be wished by the watchman with his ever cheerful face... I narrowly escaped bumping into that lady who sells flowers mumbling a sorry, catching her smile and some words in kannada that sounded like "Its ok!"... Running down the road I didnt fail to notice a merry girl in her Uniform and her mom beaming at her... Reached just in time to get into my cab... cab driver greeted me with a bright "Good morning madam" and drove through the maddening Bangalore traffic with a dexterity I have always envied. At office the security lady greeted me with a smile she seems to have reserved for everyone... I felt these small contagious curves make my day more beautiful... While many not-so-rich-but-contented people are out there to light up your day, some people miss out this happiness... For all such people... keep your frown upside down... smile and experience the difference...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

I being a naturally confused soul ... some questions confuse me more ... that too of the type "Mark all answers that are right" ... I feel its not fair to have such questions that too in real life. I am now really jealous that Frost had only one road to choose and one decision to make. Choices we take are mostly a combination of many factors and a factor not considered or a choice ill chosen can lead us to embarrassing situations. I guess learning by our own experience is the way out ...

Expectations fuel disappointment

"Sometimes in life we lose people we have faith on and we are just left with their memories. But it is these memories that teach us to keep faith and move on... "
Loved this line and hence its in my post :) ...

Is it really miles to go before I sleep ??!?

Some time last week I was talking to a friend who was keen at retiring early. He wanted to make loads of money and be in a position where he wouldn't need any hard work... just a business to maintain... cheques to sign... I spent some time that night thinking if I would want to do that. Though making money might not be in my priority list... Even if I manage to do so... hoard lots of wealth... Will I love to sit at home? That too after all the hard work put in saving so much of wealth that I am contented to retire... That too not for a day or two or even ten... for months together... for years to come... ?

I have always wondered what drives my mother and her 50+ aged friends to go to office, boarding a crowded public transport, scaling distance of around 50 km, accepting challenges of work every day...

Working does give a lot more than just salary... Its indeed a tough juggling act to spend majority of time outside home and spend the rest of the time with friends and family... but I feel I want to do it... I want to see if I am strong enough to handle the juggling act efficiently... many people of the previous generation seem to have mastered it! I want to live atleast one third of the day for myself... I am probably made of the same material many other women are made of... I will get to know if I am for sure over years ...

Blah blah blah....

Its interesting to see how our responses to the same question differs upon who asks it and of course the question itself. A question as simple as "Hi da! how are you" can make you give different answers to different people. What is interesting is that a good friend might not necessarily get a true or an elaborate answer.

Have you ever tried to be a spectator and witness yourself talk to others? With a few we are brutally honest while we try to justify ourselves with some and we prefer to tell a small lie rather than explaining the whole thing with many. There is indeed a lot of factors that influence our decision of what to talk with others. Its majorly trust on the other individual, comfort level on discussing that particular topic with that person, our wish to project our self as a different individual, our eagerness to know what others think of the same situation, and much more...

Communication is indeed an art that we all try to improve upon day in and day out ...Try listening yourself talk and believe me... its interesting :)

Ufff ... its tough to be a vegetarian ...

(At dinner time ... )
X: You always seem to cook only veg dishes.
Me: Oh yeah .. thats what I eat. I am a vegetarian.
X: Oh! On all days ?
Me: eh ????

This is the conversation I come across so often that I am fed up explaining people that a vegetarian is a vegetarian on all days. I thought its quite logical that if any one eats non-veg even once in a blue moon he/she is a non-vegetarian. But no, there are social non-veg eaters (like social smokers or drinkers); also, I came to know that there are many cadres of non-vegetarians too. There are those who eat anything that moves, those who eat anything that moves only in the sea/land, those who seem to have liking towards anything that has only two legs and can't fly more than some feet... the list is long! I have had my quota of friends who are hard core non-vegetarians... but now I am experiencing my share of friends who practice the Christian policy - "Convert!" The best argument was from one of the people in my team. He went about explaining that both animals and plants have life. He continued that plants are like small kids ... they can't defend themselves; which makes it even more a sin to eat them. Phew... I am really glad that chickens and goats defend themselves so well that its only the plants that are not able to run away and become my meal! Well... approximately 10 times of vegetation is necessary to produce 1 kilo of meat. And thats how the largest meat producing countries are blamed to be thoughtless about the nations where a person doesn't get a single meal. But we are not designed to think about others. While I don't seem to mind my friends who eat non-veg continue to do so, I feel extremely sad when I see vegetarians turning into non-vegetarians, for whatever reason. When I see beef being sold on the streets, I feel as if we are killing our own mothers who has fed us her milk, to feast on her flesh and blood.

Asai mugam marandu poche

It was one of the lazy mornings that I wanted to listen to something classical. Learning classical music has been a part of growing up in our families and I have been one of the unfortunate lot who didn't have enough passion to continue with it. I can hardly recognise a raaga nor do I have the patience to repeat the same lines in different thaala. I confine myself to smaller, precis version of the keerthanas. For me, listening to classical music requires me to kill the guilt of not having been through the training properly, not having practised, not having pursued music as passionately as some of them have gone through. Anyway... I do succeed in killing my guilt to just listen to the powerful flow of music that 7 swaras can generate for the poems composed in my mother-tongue. Yeah, I have never succeeded to attach much of a meaning to "Ra Ra venugopala" when I sing it, while I instantly connect to "Alaipaayuthey kanna" or "Thaye yashoda". The same was the case when I heard "Asai mugam marandu poche". It beautifully depicts the pain of a girl who is very much in love with Krshna but is not able to hold details of his face in her mind. I end up realizing the pain felt by the girl and am awed that so easily Bharatiyar has expressed it in simple words! Where are such poets who could weave magic with their poems and compositions? When are we going to wake up and find that all we are left with are copies of some other language's music and lyrics that make no sense? When are we going to get rid of the disgusting and vulgar gaana songs?

Tell me who's your friend and I'll tell you who you are...

That has been an exciting month at my first job. New faces all around, new people, younger and older, from different states, speaking different languages, and many new friends at the end of the month. But my friends are not of the category I used to have and neither are they of the type I used to prefer. I now don't seem to have a power to "choose" my friends. They just happen. Of all the people I talk with, some are interesting, easy to open any topic and talk, argue, discuss while I really need to think hard what to talk next with some people.
At school and college it used to be different. My friends were as studious or as dumb as me. We were from more or less the same background, I don't remember having friends who were richer or poorer to compare. Most of them spoke the same tongue, thought the same way, had values of same degree as I did. When I now see people with different views, habits, behaviour, character, both good and bad, I start thinking if the proverb still valid. Atleast I don't seem to think so. My friends are quite different from me. They are different in every train of thought, way of life, values they hold (or prefer not to hold). It was when I was asked why I am being a silent spectator of whatever wrong my friend was doing that I realized that I have changed. I have started accepting people as what they are rather than trying to point them to whatever is right. I feel most of us have become like this. We avoid talks that brings out the difference in opinions. We are at our best when left alone, when our mistakes aren't pointed. We dont want others, even the so called friends giving us suggestions. But am I doing anything about it ? Unfortunately, No.

The beauty of Ajanta and Ellora ....

I was fortunate enough to visit the world heritage sites Ajanta and Ellora on my short trip to Aurangabad. I had known their names for long time now. But when I saw these cave temples I was dumbfound.
Any building or architecture is built from its foundation. But the temples in Ellora beg to differ from this usual concept. The mountain is taken as a monolithic rock and is chiseled from top to bottom and outside to inside. There are Hindu, Bhuddist and Jain temples, the best of which I found was the Kailash temple. A full fledged temple with a main gopuram and many small gopurams are all carved out of a single mountain. So just remember that there is no luxury of carving the stone of the gopuram and then placing it on top of the temple. Also the outer and inner walls depict numerous stories sculpted on the walls. The amazing piece of carvings are the Ramayana scenes on one side, depicting the full epic and the Mahabharata scenes on the other side of the temple. The ceiling is also not left blank. It is decorated with sculptures of Nataraja, Annapoorni and other such marvellous creations. Imagine using a chisel and hammer on the ceiling and carving a structure. (As I had already said this is a monolithic stone turned to a temple. So statues are not just fitted. They are carved along with the ceiling or walls).

I was amazed at the engineering skills these people of 6th - 7th centuries to have planned and executed a massive project like this over more than 6 generations. There was a multi-storeyed temple complex too ! (and I thought flats were a relatively modern concept). To add on to this all, the whole temple was once painted with vegetable dyes which is now just seen in some places.

The Bhuddist and Jain temples were masterpieces too. They had decorative pillars and statues of their Bhodisatvas or Thirthankaras. The best among those was the Bhuddist "Carpenter's Cave". Beyond its multi-storey ed entry is a cathedral-like stupa hall also known as chaitya, whose semi cylindrical ceiling has been carved to give the impression of wooden beams.

Ajanta Caves are all Bhuddist caves where we see the paintings of Jataka Tales as well as carvings of Bhuddha. You can find so much similarity to the Ellora Bhuddist caves.

Near Aurangabad is the Daulatabad Fort, a huge one built by the Yadhava dynasty. The security measures that existed to protect the fort is amazing. But the devastation to the fort and other priceless sculptures due to the Muslim invasion is saddening.

Truly... a man made wonder. I now feel Taj Mahal is not as great when compared to these marvels.

Present day Hiranyakashyapu .. .

I was reading the newspaper few days back and I came across a rather disgusting news item. The CM of Tamil Nadu Karunanithi has pleaded for the destruction of Ramar paalam (the stone bridge that is believed to have been built by Bhagwan Ram with the help of Architect Nala to cross the ocean), as his 85th birthday gift. Atrocious! What an injustice! The politicians are well known for their corruptness. But this is the limits!!! We dont expect education, integrity, honesty from our CM (we have learnt our lesson over the years) but we also dont expect a CM of a state, to have no senses or consideration to the religious sentiments of millions of Hindus. It can only happen in Tamil Nadu that he can dare to talk of demolition of a sacred structure and can live till date to defend it! He was so concerned about his Kannagi statue being removed from the beach! Will he dare to even chip off a bit of any of the mosques in the town, be it popular or not? Or will he dare to bring down a Church for constructing a project which is better for the society? Well ... we know the answer ...

A walk in the rain ...

Its monsoon here... Bangalore smells fresh with all its greenery carefully washed by the rains ... I took a break and picked up a cup of coffee from the cafe. I could see, hear and smell the rain pouring heavily outside. I had always thought that these glass windows that decorate all the software companies do nothing much than necessitate more maintanence and power to be wasted for air conditioning. But today I was astounded by the breathtaking beauty of the rain drops splashing on the windows and the myriad colors that the nature projected through those rain drops on the glass. The rains give varied memories to every person. For me, rain brings back memories of hot pakodas, smell of elaichi tea, power cuts, the warmth of mother's lap, colorful buckets lined up to collect the water that flows down from the terrace, the raincoats that were also supposed to cover the big bulky bag...a prayer for rains to continue throughout the night ... an anxiety to read in candle light (rather play with the wax that melts down)... a bravery to play in the rain and come back home fully wet ... and recent memories of having walked into the rain with friends from the hostel, a walk in the beach, seeing the huge black clouds that were showering at a distance come close by... each memory etched so deeply with the same feeling that I experienced then ... Now as I see the rains pour uninterrupted I feel I should just walk into it and let all my tears out... let the smell of earth flush my brain... let the chillness numb my inner fears... let the torrent wash my disappointments... let the winds lift my spirits up...