Expecto patronum !

One day , I was chatting with a friend of mine who had recently got married. He was excited about his romantic and happy married life. The only problem was that he had married against his parents wishes. He had sincerely sought to get the acceptance and blessings from his parents before tying the knot. While his mom had kind of agreed, his dad and others in the family didn't budge. Though he went ahead with the promise he had given to the girl, he said that now there was a guilt that his relationship and the communication with his family has become strained and limited.

More often than not our elders tend to force their choices down on their kids. Though it manifests in different forms, for different reasons, the main reason they tend to give is that they know what is better for their kids. Also, our culture forbids children questioning the elders; more so, when the elders don't have a logical reasoning behind it. Their egos are hurt which makes it more an emotional struggle.

I believe children should be taught to make decisions, to discriminate between the good and the bad, to learn from their success as well as failures. Elders should start showing some maturity, must practice and preach ideals that follow fundamental logic. They must be a guiding light - not a barricade. As for the parents who micro manage their kids and who think they know the best - firstly, they are being foolish and immature and secondly, they are producing a bunch of laborers who are trained not to think of their own, who lack originality and the courage to fail as well as to succeed ...

Weighty Issues of Marriage

I have been going through a serious issue for last five months. The gravity of the issue is so much that I havent been able to even dress up properly. And I would be lying if I say that this issue has nothing to do with my marriage. Marriage might bring bliss for some, problems for others ... and I seem to be one of a kind who has been experiencing both. And the problem seems to be a weighty issue - that of my weight. Starting from the the day of marriage, I have had sumptuous feasts nearly over 20 times. To benefit those who are not aware - a feast at our homes has four courses of rice - one mixed rice, a sambar rice , rasam rice and curd rice. Its in the tradition that there be atleast two sweets - one in form of payasam (kheer) and another a solid one like jangari or laddoo. There are fried items like appalam, chips, potatao / yam roasts, vada along with usual curries. The seer bakshanam has yummy murukku, athirasam, a variety of paniyaram, mysorepak and laddoo. On top of it, every house seems to have atleast one or two elderly people who love you so much that they insist in serving more and more.

My weighing scale now shoots up when I stand on it. I am not getting into my dresses I had stitched before marriage. My workout is yet to burn the extra fat I have accumulated over months. It will be great if there can be a healthier alternative than arranging for feasts.Let me see if I can get back to my favorite clothes in few months. Thinking about that, it might probably take a year for me, as there are already two lunch invites for the next week.

Being a Mother....

Was flipping through a magazine and there was a one-liner "Mother is not a noun, its a verb"... How true ! When my three year old niece makes me sleep on her lap while she pats my head with her tiny hands... when my sis advices me to close my laptop and get back to sleep... when my friend frowns at me when I haven't had my lunch and shares his food with me... when a colleague offers me her saridon while I suffer from a headache... I feel all these small, selfless acts of love, care, affection, consideration... thats being a mother ... and there are quite a few such moms around us to pamper yet remain invisible...

My College Librarian ...

I was in a hurry to catch my office cab ... I rushed to the ground floor past the gate, to be wished by the watchman with his ever cheerful face... I narrowly escaped bumping into that lady who sells flowers mumbling a sorry, catching her smile and some words in kannada that sounded like "Its ok!"... Running down the road I didnt fail to notice a merry girl in her Uniform and her mom beaming at her... Reached just in time to get into my cab... cab driver greeted me with a bright "Good morning madam" and drove through the maddening Bangalore traffic with a dexterity I have always envied. At office the security lady greeted me with a smile she seems to have reserved for everyone... I felt these small contagious curves make my day more beautiful... While many not-so-rich-but-contented people are out there to light up your day, some people miss out this happiness... For all such people... keep your frown upside down... smile and experience the difference...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

I being a naturally confused soul ... some questions confuse me more ... that too of the type "Mark all answers that are right" ... I feel its not fair to have such questions that too in real life. I am now really jealous that Frost had only one road to choose and one decision to make. Choices we take are mostly a combination of many factors and a factor not considered or a choice ill chosen can lead us to embarrassing situations. I guess learning by our own experience is the way out ...

Expectations fuel disappointment

"Sometimes in life we lose people we have faith on and we are just left with their memories. But it is these memories that teach us to keep faith and move on... "
Loved this line and hence its in my post :) ...

Is it really miles to go before I sleep ??!?

Some time last week I was talking to a friend who was keen at retiring early. He wanted to make loads of money and be in a position where he wouldn't need any hard work... just a business to maintain... cheques to sign... I spent some time that night thinking if I would want to do that. Though making money might not be in my priority list... Even if I manage to do so... hoard lots of wealth... Will I love to sit at home? That too after all the hard work put in saving so much of wealth that I am contented to retire... That too not for a day or two or even ten... for months together... for years to come... ?

I have always wondered what drives my mother and her 50+ aged friends to go to office, boarding a crowded public transport, scaling distance of around 50 km, accepting challenges of work every day...

Working does give a lot more than just salary... Its indeed a tough juggling act to spend majority of time outside home and spend the rest of the time with friends and family... but I feel I want to do it... I want to see if I am strong enough to handle the juggling act efficiently... many people of the previous generation seem to have mastered it! I want to live atleast one third of the day for myself... I am probably made of the same material many other women are made of... I will get to know if I am for sure over years ...